Surrender

"Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will."- Unknown

You can never be forced to surrender. You can be convinced to surrender, but you cannot be made. There can be circumstances that compel you to surrender, but you cannot be forced. A gun held to your lover’s head could compel you to surrender, but the choice is always yours.

If love is surrender, then it is a choice.

The heart is a fragile thing. It can become calloused through mistreatment, or it can become cold if it is kept locked away. If it is calloused, it is because the mind’s desire was that its heart should never be cold. If it is cold, it was the desire of the mind that it should not become calloused.

It is certain that every heart will feel the chill of being hidden away at one point, and that every heart will become a little hardened for exposing itself; it is for this reason that the mind fights to find not just an equal, but one who will exceed it’s own capabilities, one that will hide our heart away, and set it free all at the same time. One that gives you the security of knowing that they will treat it far better than you will.

I have this theory; that if your sole focus is on another’s wellbeing, and if theirs is on yours, then you will both be looked after. It is not two halves that make a whole, it is two wholes that secure each other, that perfect each other. I believe that this is love; the choice to surrender your heart to another, with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will.

Certainly Certainty

i'm soaked to the skin

as the rain begins

to pour, to cascade

our beds are unmade

so we don't have to lie

we don't have to struggle

our weaknesses die

they give us no trouble

certainty certainly

confuses our minds, you see

our hearts are made up

but our heads can't keep up  

decisions are made for us, 

by us, despite us

despise all you want

but the cup is half drunk

and so are you, and you need to finish it

complete, and utter

the words, devastation, 

forgiveness, frustration, 

redemption, elation

that soak to the skin

the world closes in

and we realize that we were right to believe

what our hearts had conceived

but our minds hadn't seen

for it's always the way

that our heart knows what's best

and certainly certainty

doesn't add up

to happiness 

The Shining Light

The laws of love describe a time, 

When all my faults and all my crimes

Would pale in significance, 

The shining light, my positives

For love is patient, live is kind, 

There is no envy and no pride

Perfect love can’t be withheld, 

Now traitors turn and run,

While you’re able, have your fun

Trains

Sometimes I just get on a train at night time and keep going until I feel like turning around and coming back home. It gives me time to think, and I see some beautiful things. My favorite is going over the Sydney Harbour Bridge and seeing the lights of Luna Park, and the Opera House. It makes me feel lucky. People visit Sydney so they can see these things, and I get to see them every day.

I think everyone needs to stop, and let something, be it a train, or a river, or laying down on the grass and seeing the clouds pass by, but everyone should let something take them, carry them, and to
take the opportunity to stare at the things around them. The shapes, the colours, the creativity in opposition to, and at the same time in perfect harmony with order. It makes you feel lucky that you have been witness to beauty, and maybe even sometimes a participant in beauty.

Lonely Ship

I fear that I will always be 
A lonely ship upon the sea 
On mighty waves I do abide 
The roaring winds will be my guide 

The things that I am searching for 
The things that I wish to adore 
Will not be found in current state 
Nor ever will if at this rate 
I do not hear the distant call 
I do not see the flagships tall 

But even though it doth call me 
To live a life that sets me free 
I choose not to acknowledge it 
That flagships on horizon sit 

“We walk two different paths”, I chide 
But from these voices I must hide 
Must not be found, Must not be free 
For hence the victim I must not be 

For fear of this I run away 
If not, it’s me that I must face 
Acknowledging that all those wrongs 
‘Twas I, not them that dwelt upon 
“Forgive and forget” is what they say 
Yet I’m not obliged at all that way 

For in my mind I still do fight 
For myself and what I hold as right 
While these things may be true 
It seems no matter what I do 
Others don’t know the same as me 
They don’t see things as I do see 

For if they did then they might know 
Of what the things that I do stow 
Open up when I recall 
The terrible storm, the terrible squall 
That plagues my conscience, that plagues my soul 
Of days gone by, pains take their toll 

“Courage”, they say, “Courage my dear” 
“You’ll get through these things, have no fear” 
I begin to believe it, I begin to trust 
In myself, in my strength, in my own cut and thrust 
Yet then I remember my faults and my flaws 
And that sea-monsters fight with their armour and claws 

I’d fight for others, but I’m too distant now 
From port, from starboard, from stern, from bow 
It seems that through no will of my own 
I’m isolated, yet it seems fear hasn’t grown 
To be all alone is what I seem to strive, 
For this shows me that I’m still half alive 

But more than alive is what I want to be 
More than alive, more than the sea 
I search for the things that I know I need more 
I search for the things that I should search for 
What are those things that I know that I need? 
What are those things, where’s the sower and seed? 
But could these ungraciously rebound? 
And turn on me whence they are found? 

The things that are my hearts desire 
The things I know will be my fire 
Could burn me up as they catch sight 
of weakness. They could catch alight 
If I give them any chance to seize 
Upon my own humanities 

But what if all I said was wrong 
In courage did I find belong 
a fire that on what did feed? 
Not weakness, but upon the need 
To fight for what I did believe 
To search for those who called on me 

Instead of isolate, regroup 
To mend and fix, repair the troupe 
In course I may also be restored 
In course I’d find a dock to be moored 
Forevermore leaving the turbulent waters 
That carried us on but could never support us 

If I never take charge of mine own enemy 
I’m sure that I will always be 
A lonely ship upon the sea 
On who else may it be but me? 
I must still play a part in all 
That’s planned for me once curtains fall

Hollywood Boulevard

A few weeks ago I travelled to Los Angeles. I went just for a holiday, just because I could. I met a few cool people, and I saw a few cool things. I went to Disneyland, California Adventure and Universal Studios. Hollywood Boulevard, however, held the most interesting stories, so I'll skip to that part. 

There were many characters, some recognisable, some not. There was Spiderman, and Captain America, there were rappers, or as my good friends Bret and Jermaine call them, RAPists, but I would like to draw your attention to one in particular. He is probably the only man who could get away with grabbing his crotch in public, and he did so on many occasions, at least five times in the five minutes I was there. It seems Michael Jackson is alive and well, he didn't look like his usual self though, but then again, what was his usual look? 

This reminds me, while walking Hollywood Boulevard, I stumbled across Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. It was hard taking photos of myself with the wax figures, even with my iphone, on which I can see myself, and I bet it was even harder for the lady with a dodgy digital camera that looked like it had been won in one of those claw machines. Before long i was wrangled into taking photos of said lady, which wasn't too bad, because she took my photos for me. It seems that it wasn't this lady's first time to a Madame Tussaud's. I was informed that she travels from her hometown of Brooklyn, NY to all of the Madame Tussaud's Wax Museums in the country, regularly. Not only does she take photos with the wax figures, but she always makes sure that she is doing exactly the same pose as the character. So, it took a while, but the overweight, middle-aged woman finally made it up onto the table and positioned herself, lying down next to Cleopatra. Towards the end, I believe it was George Clooney, who caused this lady to really get excited. I was informed that, along with this lady's ex-husband, she always takes photos of herself grabbing the wax figures' crotches. So who had to take the photo of this woman, performing this indecent act on an unsuspecting wax figure? It was a shock that I am only still recovering from. But I digress.

A few years ago there were rumours going around, about the man behind (or inside to be precise) my beloved Barney the Dinosaur, keeping drugs in, and distributing them from his tail. Well I saw Barney on Hollywood Boulevard, he didn't look like he was up to any good. 

Neither, it seemed, were Elvis and Marilyn Monroe, who offered me an opportunity to take a picture with them, which I took up, "I might as well experience all that Hollywood Boulevard had to offer me" I thought. I was then bailed up for money from Elvis, they lived off tips after all, so I forked out money to him "Oh Marilyn needs some too", and pretty soon I didn't have a lot of money left. So it started me thinking, how easy would it be to make money by wearing a costume in downtown LA? So I went and bought some leather pants, a crocodile skin vest and an Akubra and that night I worked a corner on Hollywood Boulevard...and I made a hell of a lot of money. I did a few things that I'm not proud of, and there are probably some pictures out there that I wouldn't like to get out, but I made a killing.

To be honest I didn't actually do that...but imagine it, ok don't imagine, but consider the idea, how much money could Crocodile Dundee make if Crocodile Dundee could make money, which he can. 

There were many more characters, like that one guy...but that's another story.